How do you juggle your business and life through divorce?
I’ve seen hundreds of divorce cases and nearly everyone gets it wrong. Divorce isn’t about the numbers. It’s about the emotions. Don’t forget your own emotions! Some people seek to reconciliation, some revenge, others vindication, still others fulfillment or fairness. It means something different for each individual. It will mean something different for you. It’s unfortunate that this aspect of the divorce process is lost on many attorneys because they are in the best position to help you find a way to manage this part of your life.
You’ve got a lot more on the line that then the typical divorcee. Every divorcing parent deals with access to their children and splitting assets. But since you run your own business, your greatest asset is a work in progress. This makes navigating divorce much more challenging than what it is for someone who just works 9-5. You don’t just have your children; you also have this mountain of responsibility known as your business. Payroll still needs to be paid. Staff meetings still must be done. Vendors must be managed and inspected to ensure compliance with business goals. Sure much of this can be delegated, but the buck stops with you.
This is why managing your own emotions becomes very important. The best advice I offer to my clients is that they should seek therapy, whether that be by professional or friend. Schedule time on a weekly basis to talk to someone about what you are going through. You’ll find it to be a terrific outlet that will help clear your mind and allow you to refocus on your goals. The outside perspective might allow you to refocus your energy in a constructive way that promotes your business and not the opposite.
If you are like many owners, you compartmentalize what you work on during your day. You might tell yourself, “I’ll deal with that tomorrow”. The trouble is that while you might be able to put off dealing with your emotions for a couple of days or weeks, it won’t last. If you are thinking, but I’m fine; you probably are not. I’ve seen clients who have nearly lost it all because they had convinced themselves that they were fine and could suppress their own emotions. Unfortunately, they later find out that bottling up those emotions ends up building up into its own self-destructive volcano. You don’t want to melt down when you are in trial over your life.
Most people wonder, “What is my life going to look like once this over?” Our clients also wonder, “What is going to happen to my business? Is she getting half of it?” Divorce is a huge psychological burden. Manage it well by outsourcing help when needed.
