What is an ex parte restraining order?
An ex parte (pronounced X-Part-A) restraining order is an order routinely issued by commissioners in Superior Court in King County, Pierce County, and Snohomish County. The order commonly sets the ground rules for how a divorce case will move through the court system because it gives one side an opportunity to define the terms of the divorce before the husband even knows that the wife has filed.
The document is essentially the court directive to you, the respondent. The document controls what you can do with your financial accounts, whether or not you can see your children, whether or not you can go near your wife, or even whether you can even go home to get your clothes while you live in a motel.
Attorneys use them to give their clients some peace of mind when the case starts. They also use them when their client fears for their life such as when a wife thinks her husband will beat the crap out of her if she divorces him. I have routinely used ex parte restraining orders and even domestic violence protection orders when I have represented women married to wife beaters.
7 (Seven) Tips to Dealing With Your Ex Parte Restraining Order
1) Chances are, if you’ve been served with an ex parte restraining order, you had no clue this was coming. Relax, it’s not the end of the world. Yet. You won’t do yourself any good getting worked up into a frenzy because you’ve been served with one of these things. You’ve got to think about this rationally. Family law and divorce litigation is a marathon, not a 500 meter sprint.
2) Read the order carefully. Be absolutely certain you understand the order completely before you attempt to contact your wife, contact your kids, or attempt to go home. If it turns out that you are wrong, the consequences could be jail.
3) Grab a piece of paper and write down every physical thing that you can think of that is in your home. Every piece of furniture. All of your clothes. Everything that you can think of. Put some time into this. It will pay you dividends months down the road when you forget what was at the house.
4) If you have children, grab a calendar and start marking down each day that you have seen or had custody of your children. Like your tangible property, you will quickly forget who had what as time goes on. Ideally, go back at least a year.
5) If you’ve been kicked out of your home, see if the order provides you a way to get your clothing or other personal affects. Most orders don’t have such a mechanism don’t get your hopes up too much.
6) If you are an entrepreneur or a small business owner, read the order carefully before running to the bank’s online website to change all of your financial related passwords. There may be a prohibition against you doing so.
7) Even if you think you know the ex parte restraining order like the bank of your hand, do yourself a favor and get a consultation with a Seattle family law attorney. A consultation fee is a small price to pay for your own peace of mind. Our firm does not give free consultations, but we can point you in the direction of some attorneys that do.
You will generally find that those attorneys that give free consultations are far cheaper than those that don’t. Also, if you can’t stand attorneys and don’t want to meet with one, there are legal clinics that can help you. One great resource is the King Country Bar Association who can set you up with an 5-15 minute appointment at a free legal clinic.
You can also check with the local law schools such as the University of Washington or Seattle University School of Law. It’s better than nothing. If you have drug, alcohol, or emotional or physical abuse allegations take this tip and square it, then square it again.
